Dr Affie Adagio Life Coach, Family Therapist, Marriage Celebrant, Trainer

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Basic Wedding Format

Weddings, whether formal or not, have a certain essential format. First, the couple need to find a celebrant and make a Notice of Intended Marriage at least 1 month and 1 day before the wedding date. If it is a religious ceremony then a church is the appropriate place. However, if a religious ceremony is not desired then a civil marriage celebrant who is appointed by the Attorney General’s Department is the appropriate person to conduct their wedding. At this initial meeting the wedding vows are considered. Second, the couple chooses the venue and the type of ceremony required - this can be with some help from the celebrant. For the more detailed arrangements a wedding planner is ideal if the couple can afford it, otherwise, many people have managed without one. Next to be considered is how many attendants and the outfits and flowers preferred for the bridal party - usually the bride’s choice in consultation with the groom. Sometimes small gifts are offered to the attendants for their participation. At some weddings each guest is given a memento of the occasion such as sugar coated almonds in a hanky, or a fresh flower.

The next decision is whether there will be a reception and where? Also the catering requirements such as a wedding cake - depending on the budget set. Flowers and decorations come into this category as well as entertainment. Sometimes close friends can provide entertainment or carry out readings for the ceremony which can be quite artistic. Usually, a photographer to take the stills or film the celebration can be a friend or a professional can be hired.

Here you have a basic format which can be added to or changed for individual preferences, and which is also an enjoyable process for the bride and groom.

Wedding Ceremony Checklist

• Decide on the type of wedding - religious or civil
• Civil: contact a celebrant no later than 1 month and 1 day before the wedding date
• With the celebrant of your choice complete a Notice of Intended Marriage form
• Together with the celebrant plan the type of ceremony you want
• Choose the wedding vows which will be used - could be just the legal words or more
• Choose the wedding party (best man, bridesmaids, grooms men, witnesses (2)
• Decide on and order the outfits to be worn by the bride, groom and wedding party
• Music to be played - can be a musician friend playing a musical instrument
• Decide on who will do a reading - this can have meaning
• Arrange catering and the wedding cake
• Ensure that the wedding ring or rings are ordered
• Order the flowers
• Choose at which shop to have a wedding register for people to purchase your gifts
• Send out wedding invitations at least 8 weeks before the wedding, allowing for RSVPs
• Arrange for the photography and filming of the wedding
• Arrange transport for the bridal party and for those who do not have cars
• Remember to purchase small gifts for the bridal party
• Consider mementos to be given to the guests - may be sugar coated almonds in hankies
• Choose where you will spend the honeymoon and make arrangements for this
• Purchase going away outfits for after the reception, and for the honeymoon

from:New York Times
Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying
Published: December 17, 2006
Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?