Dr Affie Adagio Life Coach, Family Therapist, Marriage Celebrant, Trainer

specialising in dependencies: compulsions and recovery

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Self pity

Filed under: Life Strategies — Affie Adagio at 8:00 pm on Sunday, January 22, 2006

How many times have we been affected by the dysfunctional behaviour of martyrs? They try to pull at our heart strings with threats of killing others and/or themselves (murder suicide) and we feel impelled to fix their unhappiness until we come to realise that what they are truly feeling is self pity. Then again we cannot disregard their threats entirely but once we have taken the necessary steps for duty of care – consulting with professionals about what to do regarding their threats – then we need to let go and be free of the anxiety they create.

how many times have I heard you say that
you are an expert on your disabled son’s wellbeing
and that if you do not have your way
you will kill him and then kill yourself
so everyone stands back and becomes
anxious about his health and your actions
little do they realise that you
consider yourself to be a martyr!
you are full of self pity and whether it is right or not
your dysfunctional behaviour costs you and
those around you

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