Dr Affie Adagio Life Coach, Family Therapist, Marriage Celebrant, Trainer

specialising in dependencies: compulsions and recovery

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Willingness to be abstinent

Filed under: Compulsion & Recovery — Affie Adagio at 12:21 am on Monday, January 21, 2008

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Breakthrough, photo by Stefanie L., Meppen, GermanyPeople who are torn apart by their addiction can lose years struggling to find happiness. Having unhealthy behaviour, whether it is substance or process excesses, keeps us from finding fulfilment and serenity. Nevertheless, only when we become willing to go to any lengths to gain recovery are we able to achieve this freedom. The willingness to be abstinent is not so easy as it sounds. That is why it can be achieved with help from professionals and from self help groups where people have the experience to share about how they did it. Such groups are primarily the 12 Steps fellowship and/or SMART Recovery. The important thing to remember is NOT TO STOP SEARCHING FOR A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM.

he had so much knowledge about recovery
yet he kept relapsing and was miserable
sometimes he felt that his life was hopeless
and that he should end it
nevertheless he did not give up
33 detox attempts still did not help
then one day like a bolt of lightening
he came out of the tunnel and the
light was not an oncoming train
instead he saw the sun and the trees
his only regret was the years he had wasted
until he found the willingness to be abstinent
at least it was ‘better late than never’!

Breakthrough, photo by Stefanie L., Meppen, Germany,

4 Comments »

Comment by Jane

January 29, 2008 @ 7:56 pm

So true! I have a relative that’s fighting drug addiction, and sometimes I’m not convinced he is ready to give it up. He has tried a few times to give up but only half-heartedly.

Comment by Soa

February 27, 2008 @ 5:43 am

Great Post! And Jane just keep supporting him that what he needs right now!

Comment by daisy

July 14, 2008 @ 1:02 pm

I struggle with depression and lots of things help me shift to a better space. Movement, acuppuncture, counselling, support, good choices etc, but a few poor choices and I’m spirallng down again. My heart is tight and there is little space in me at the moment and I’m frustrated looking for work, but all I can do is to take the next step I can see towards healing and then the next one. endlessly forever, I’m so tired but there is nothing else to do.

Comment by Affie Adagio

July 14, 2008 @ 2:10 pm

@ Daisy: When you keep doing what works then you have a healthy outcome. Remember that if you have become vulnerable with depression then you could be managing well but when something traumatic comes along in your life then later you pay the price. It is like an anniversary of the trauma kicks in your depression even if you have been doing everything else to maintain a healthy life. Then if you explore what you did the same time a year ago or a few months ago that you experienced the trauma, just becoming conscious of that will help your recovery.

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